Believe.

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed,

That I would see the goodness of the Lord

In the land of the living.

Psalm 27:13

This verse is so dear to my heart. 

It pulls strings I forget I have until I read it.

When I lost my brother the question that I am sure everyone asks bubbled up, "Why?"

When tragedy strikes we either dive head first toward the Lord or we dive into anger.

Which way we dive begins with our "Why?"

What we believe is where our direction comes from.

David went through so much.

He suffered, but he always believed in the goodness of the Lord.

Why--Because he knew God's heart.

He believed in God's goodness and believed he would see it.

When I lost Jeff everything felt numb.

I chose to dive head first toward the Lord but it still hurt.

When I think back to the time of the healing process, I see a movie screen of how life was in my eyes.

Days felt long and nights felt short.

Hundreds of people around and yet still I felt alone.

I remember walking down the hallways at school and feeling eyes stare at me.

I felt like life was on fast forward and I was on rewind.

People move on, life moves forward and I was stuck in the middle of grief.

Honestly, I would have to say that the easiest part of grief is the beginning.

In the beginning people want to help and love on you.

You have support, encouragement and feel like you can make it.

But when life starts to move forward and you start to lose that, the hardest part comes.

It's where people are not believing in the goodness of the Lord for you

 and YOU have to choose to believe in the goodness.

But when you choose to believe in the goodness you have hope.

Something deep in your heart starts to stir and the Lord overflows your cup.

Peace, Hope, and Love fall into the emptiness in your heart.

Whether it's death, money issues, broken relationships, or depression, God is still good.

Don't lose heart, seek the Lord's heart, and BELIEVE in His goodness.

Let Him overflow your cup.